I’m a late October baby, and I always saw Autumn as a natural habitat. It makes me feel invigorated, and more like myself, as if the golden leaves and brisk air were sharing secrets with me. I felt an attunement to the energies of transformation, the life/death/rebirth cycle, the intimate relationship between sex, death and magic, and the intensified presence of the spirits. It has always seemed to me that these aspects of spirituality had a strong relationship to my personal path, reflected in the timing of my birth, and repeated again and again throughout my life.
This year, the changes have been profound, and they’ve really come to a head over the past month and a half. I have experienced an uprooting of everything that my life rested on, as well as a series of personal tragedies and massive obstacles to overcome. Overall, despite all the pain I’ve been going through, I am seeing positive results from a lot of these changes, including a deeper connection to the Gods and Spirits, a greater ability to harness my creativity and writing talents, and the ending of some destructive situations in my life that had dragged on for far too long. It’s awfully difficult to discard all your outmoded patterns at the same time though!
In Urglaawe, this time of year is tied to drawing within, contemplation, planning. What is outmoded in your life? What needs to go? What needs to grow? What goals will you set in the coming year? My thoughts so far are revolving around my home and career, and how I will increase my independence and create greater stability and peace of mind in my life.
Since Allelieweziel, I’ve noticed a definite change. Some of my personal goals started to come into effect with alarming speed and in unexpected ways, including a lot of decluttering, an upcoming move, new directions in my work, and challenging situations keep coming up to test and shape me.
The absence of Schaeffer, my Butzemann, has been a palpable one, as I find myself turning to look at him when I think of my plants and animals, or of giving him offerings, only to see that the space where he stood in the spider plant’s pot is empty. I miss having the little guy around! Despite the difficulty involved in giving him a proper send-off this year, I’m looking forward to having his descendants in my life. Next year there may even be indoor and outdoor Butzemenner possible!
I intend to increase my efforts at divination and communicating with my spirit guides over the coming weeks, both to instill the habit and to give me greater insight into these changes that I’m going through, and into what plans are best to lay in the coming year. I’m definitely a person who doesn’t ask for help enough, both from human beings and the spirit realms, and I have to remind myself that it does no one any good if I don’t reach out when I need something. In particular, I want to start reaching out to the spirits of departed pets that I was especially close to on this side of the veil.
Something that has been especially helpful in my practice is something that Jolene Poseidonae came up with: writing letters to the Gods. I’ve been incorporating this into my personal devotions and it has really helped me to deepen my connection with the Gods and spirits, as well as helping my “signal clarity”–that is, my ability to better understand what They are saying.
Side Note: I’ve started a new category with this entry of “Personal Work”. This is just an effort to better differentiate my personal practice from what is “official Urglaawe”. I don’t want anyone to get the impression that I am claiming all Urglaawers practice the same way that I do, or that they should! I’ll be using this category to flag entries that have more of my personal bent in them, just to give you guys greater clarity.